


the stars remind me that we're not together

by nullspace



Category: Block B, Winner (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-05 07:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14612349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nullspace/pseuds/nullspace
Summary: Their wedding was beautiful.





	1. Chapter 1

 “You’re real, aren’t you?”

One question.

It was just _one_ question, but it was able to flip Jiho’s life upside down. To others, it might’ve even sounded like a weird question to has ever been asked, not to mention to a complete stranger. But somehow, Jiho understood, and that—the whole concept of weirdness itself—was the whole point of their relationship.

Jiho had been at a party thrown by a junior he didn’t know the name of when Seungyoon asked him that. Jiho, with a bottle of beer in his hand that he had yet to drink, turned to the voice’s owner—he hadn’t known his name at the time. Weird, it was weird. The whole setting was weird to Jiho because he was pretty sure that the music was blasting too loud for him to hear another human’s voice and yet there he was. The boy was leaning against a wall, shoulders slouched and head tipped up slightly so he could see Jiho. He was, in fact, looking at Jiho right in the eye and Jiho had frozen for a moment, but then the boy blinked and Jiho blurted out, “Yeah.”

Jiho didn’t even know why nor understood how, but he did say that and then the boy ducked his head and covered his face with his hands. For a moment, Jiho was scared that there was nothing deep about it. That it was just a prank because Jiho had always been serious and the whole campus, the whole neighborhood, the whole town, hell, even the whole world knew it was easy to pull a prank on him. His worries thickened when he saw the boy’s shoulders shaking. He’s laughing, Jiho thought, of course it’s fucking funny. But then he heard sniffles and realized that the boy was crying.

Jiho guided him to a less crowded area—which means, outside—and sat him down on a bench. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he just patted the boy’s back while he sobbed and sobbed. After a while, when he wasn’t crying anymore, Jiho asked him what’s wrong and he shook his head, “I’m not sure. Never fucking sure anymore.”

Jiho understood. Sort of.

 

* * *

 

Somehow, after that strange night, Jiho bumped into him at campus and for a split second, Jiho wondered how he should act. If he should pretend he didn’t remember the boy just to save him from the embarrassment of crying in front of someone who was a complete stranger or—

“Oh, Jiho hyung!”

Or, well, not.

“Hey, you,” Jiho greeted, trying to be casual. “How are you?” and he didn’t mean the _are you feeling okay today_ how are you, but the _did whatever make you cry that night still makes you cry and do you need someone to be asked whether they’re real or not because people are fucking plastics, because everyone is a walking forgery and do you need me to pat your back_ how are you, which was answered with an “I’m fine.”

“Thank you for that night, hyung.”

Jiho swore if anyone passed by and heard those words without context, they could spread a rumor that Jiho was a cheap whore which would affect his reputation, that he’d built since he was a junior, badly. But something about those eyes made Jiho think, if he were to be destroyed, and was allowed to choose what would destroy him completely, he would choose this guy.

They talked for a good five minutes before the guy, Seungyoon, excused himself out because he had a class to attend. Just like him, Seungyoon was majoring music. He started his year late because he’d gotten into an accident during orientation, which was why Jiho had never seen him before that night.

The thing is: Seungyoon was very fun to talk to. Jiho had never felt that content talking to someone new, like he didn’t have to hold himself back because there were certain standards that people knew him for and usually, Jiho had to fulfill those standards first and went for weeks to convince someone that he _really_ was like that before he could open up little by little—or even never.

They kept bumping into each other the next few days, until they didn’t, because Seungyoon came up to him one afternoon after Jiho had just finished his class. “Hyung, do you wanna hang out sometime?”

Why not now? Jiho wanted to ask, but Seungyoon was a little bit of a psychic because he immediately said, “Not now, I have a project to do. Can I have your number?”

He was handed Seungyoon’s phone and typed his number immediately. Seungyoon could get his number, literally, anywhere. It was probably even written on the bathroom’s wall, and yet here he was, standing before Jiho like an excited puppy waiting for his treat. Jiho pretended it wasn’t touching as he handed the phone back and Seungyoon grinned widely, and _oh, cool, the sun is jobless now_.

 

* * *

 

Seungyoon called him a week and three days after that. Jiho had been worried, what if he’d put the wrong number, that somehow his thumb slipped and he didn’t notice there was one incorrect number and he didn’t know how to fix it because the world conspired they never met at school in that period of time. But Seungyoon called, and that’s what mattered.

They met up in a playground near Seungyoon’s house, Jiho bought ice creams for them as they sat on the swings, talking about nothing and everything. Seungyoon apologized for not calling sooner because he had a big project to finish and Jiho felt weights lifted from his shoulders, since it was only a project, since it wasn’t someone that could’ve been having Seungyoon’s attention. And honestly, it only occurred to him that he had been having such thought at that moment, he tried to shoo it away because he didn’t want that.

After that, they hung out way too often. Half of the time Jiho even crashed at Seungyoon’s place, that even his mother begun to prepare three plates on the table for mealtime. Some nights when one of them had to stay up to finish a task or just couldn’t sleep, they would sit on Seungyoon’s bed and talked about their childhoods; Jiho’s spent wearing expensive suits and ties that felt more like a noose while Seungyoon’s went with him hiding from every fear in his head. Some other time, they would fall asleep next to each other; Seungyoon after he demanded Jiho—“You’re real, aren’t you?” which Jiho would reply with a squeeze on Seungyoon’s hand and a whispered _yes I am, Seungyoon, yes I am_ —and Jiho after he decided that it was creepy to watch Seungyoon sleeping.

Time passed by, Jiho and Seungyoon were still Jiho and Seungyoon. Jiho had never felt anything like the way he felt whenever he was with Seungyoon before. It’s not like he didn’t know what was going on, it’s just that he wished he didn’t because he thought it’s hard to change the direction of their relationship after all this time—and especially after Seungyoon had so many times declared them as friends.  

Of course he knew he could try, he even talked about it with his friend.

( _“What if they’re scared to kiss you?” Minho asked, and Jiho snorted because Kang Seungyoon wasn’t that type of person. He was the risk it all or nothing at all type, but whatever, it’s not like Minho would know. Which was kind of his fault because he didn’t even use any specific pronoun—Jiho just didn’t want Minho to know Seungyoon, ever. “What if it’s in the back of their mind too, that they’re scared to ruin the friendship they insisted?”_

_Jiho thought, maybe. Maybe._

_But he didn’t hold on to it._ )

* * *

 

 

Some time after Jiho graduated, they became quite distant. Seungyoon had gotten busier with his study and Jiho was trying to settle into a job, there had been occasional texts but never a meet up, Jiho was quite stressed. Which was why he smiled way too wide when he saw Seungyoon on his doorstep, bringing a huge bag of food from his mother.

“Wow, you should’ve not bothered,” Jiho mumbled when he peeked into the bag and opened the door wider for Seungyoon to walk in. Seungyoon shrugged and paused as he looked down, “Are you with someone?”

Jiho glanced to where Seungyoon was looking at, a pair of shoes that didn’t belong to him. “Yeah, I have a friend over. It’s okay, we’re not doing anything important, so you’re not interrupting anything.”

Seungyoon nodded and took his coat off as Jiho brought the bag inside. “Anyhow, you both are here so, Seungyoon this is—”

“Song Minho?”

“Kang Seungyoon?”

Yeah, that, Jiho thought, but he didn’t say anything and only blinked at the two in confusion. Minho laughed as he shook Seungyoon’s hand, then turned to Jiho, “He tutored Danah for a while, she wanted to learn guitar and Jinwoo hyung said Seungyoon was looking for a temporary job.”

“Ah,” Jiho said and nodded. For a moment he watched as Minho and Seungyoon interacted—Seungyoon asked how Danah was doing and how he missed Minho’s cat, Minho joked about Seungyoon not missing him, which resulted in him receiving a playful punch on his chest. Something about their interactions that day hurt Jiho’s head and everytime Minho made Seungyoon laugh, he thought: _oh no, oh no_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the late update!! life has been cruel and i've been trying to look for the motivation to write everywhere but i finally found it again and here we are. enjoy!!

Jiho had gotten a job. It was not something he really wanted to do, but he needed experience, first of all, before he could land into something more promising—at least that’s what he told himself. Seungyoon came to his place more often than before and mostly with a ton of food. Some other time, though, he came straight from campus with plain grumpiness and complains in hands.

Jiho liked it—the way Seungyoon handed him the new kind of trust. He knew he’d never held anything back with Seungyoon, but Seungyoon did. They were close but there still existed some kind of invisible wall that Jiho couldn’t climb or get through. And this now, watching Seungyoon’s forehead creased as he frowned and ranted, and ranted, and ranted, made Jiho felt as if he was a thousand steps closer to Seungyoon.

He liked it a lot.

 

That day was a weekend, Seungyoon came to his place without bringing food—which was new, especially because Seungyoon came from his house instead of campus, but Jiho didn’t care that much. He also looked a little overdressed for someone who had just wanted to visit a friend. Seungyoon had always been stylish, but—

“There’s a party nearby that I was invited,” Seungyoon explained as he walked inside and plopped down to Jiho’s couch and Jiho nodded. “I told mom I’m staying at your place overnight, is that okay?”

Is that okay if you used me as a lie, Jiho thought, or is that okay if you’re actually staying over?

“Of course.”

 

Jiho didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t Seungyoon coming back to his place just an hour and half after he left. He stared up at him as Seungyoon peeked at the TV, mumbling a question that Jiho didn’t quite register—but certain it was something like _isn’t this movie old?_ —before he plopped next to Jiho.

“Hyung, say something, you’re starting to creep me out.”

That’s when Jiho realized how close Seungyoon was, their thighs and shoulders pressed against each other and when Seungyoon leaned back, Jiho thought he could kiss him if he were to lean forward just a little.

The thought was nice, but maybe not.

“It’s not even twelve,” Jiho said and Seungyoon let out a sigh.

“It wasn’t fun,” Seungyoon started, averting his gaze towards the TV. Jiho didn’t know how to read his face as he continued, “I like it better alone with you.”

Seungyoon really knew his way with words, he knew how to tug at Jiho’s heart, how to tie it into a string and spin it around like it’s nothing. But Jiho didn’t think that—he didn’t want to, and instead glanced down to Seungyoon’s lips and, god, it must be nice to kiss them.

The thought was nice, so why not?

Jiho pressed his lips against the corner of Seungyoon’s mouth and waited.

It felt like forever, Jiho thought he could explode right there and then from the suspense, but then Seungyoon turned his head and kissed his lips. Only then did Jiho close his eyes. He felt, at that moment, that he should call Kyung and tell him that he’d visited heaven and it was exactly how they always wished it to be.

Somehow they ended up making out with Seungyoon full sitting on Jiho’s lap and Jiho pretended that it was nothing sort of a big deal, that it’s just something that happened between him and his friends. Jiho wondered how long would Seungyoon drag this, how far would he take it before he realized he’d fucked himself up. Seungyoon could pull away at any moment and curse at him—or maybe not curse, maybe apologize because that’s what Seungyoon does, he apologizes—and tell Jiho he was drunk even though Jiho couldn’t smell nor taste alcohol on him, and Jiho would take it.

But that didn’t happen even when Jiho nipped along his jawline. Seungyoon didn’t do anything of the like even when Jiho trailed wet kisses down his neck—if anything, he complied, tilting his head aside to allow Jiho a better access—didn’t stop Jiho when his hands slipped underneath his shirt and wandered on his back.

Jiho pushed him back slightly as his hands rested on Seungyoon’s sides, their eyes locked at each other while Jiho moved his hands to Seungyoon’s chest and pinched his nipples. Maybe Jiho was just being dramatic, but he witnessed everything in slow motion; Seungyoon’s lips parted gracefully, a whimper escaped him as he closed his eyes momentarily.

Beautiful, too beautiful.

“Hyung—”

Jiho paused to focus on Seungyoon’s face, seeking for any kind of uncertainty or fear or regret—anything that could possibly hurt him—and waited. Seungyoon leaned back to pull his shirt off, and perhaps, that was the only green light Jiho needed. He pulled Seungyoon’s legs and wrapped them around his waist, Seungyoon held onto his neck as an automatic response as Jiho stood up.

He covered Seungyoon’s bare torso with himself as soon as he laid him down upon the bed, hands and lips moving everywhere at once; Seungyoon’s neck, Seungyoon’s shoulders, Seungyoon’s chest, Seungyoon’s sides—he didn’t know his pace anymore, if he showed too much desperation through his touch, Seungyoon didn’t say anything about it.

On the other hand, he reacted.

Seungyoon reacted to every contacts made to his skin the way Jiho had always imagined, well, except that he wasn’t as shy as the Seungyoon in his imagination. He tugged at the collar of Jiho’s shirt and Jiho took it off in one swift motion, throwing it randomly before he moved down to Seungyoon’s hips, biting marks as he struggled with the button of his jeans.

He stared at Seungyoon once he settled back in between the younger’s legs and Jiho was stunned. Contrary to popular belief that _bros_ supposedly have had seen each other naked especially after years of friendship—like he was with Kyung and Minho—he had never seen Seungyoon in his barest form. He’d imagined, yes, dreamed of it a few times, but he had not even the slightest idea what naked Seungyoon actually look like. Anyone who knew Jiho would know that he was good with words, but Jiho was too mesmerized that every vocabulary escaped his brain.

That, or he was thinking with his dick at that moment.

Jiho was the one running his hands up Seungyoon’s legs and down his thighs, yet he had also been the one holding his breath. Seungyoon’s skin was soft under his touch, Jiho could feel him shivering after his fingers chased each other, could hear his whimpers. If, right at that very moment, Seungyoon were to stop him because what they were doing didn’t make sense, Jiho would still be glad he got to touch him at last.

God, Jiho thought, you’re so pretty.

Seungyoon whined.

“Did I say that out loud?”

Seungyoon nodded and Jiho snickered, shyly, before he wrapped his fingers around Seungyoon’s cock, making him sigh.

A little later, Seungyoon was riding Jiho, their moans filled the room and Jiho wished he had recorded them. He felt Seungyoon slowing down and let out whines more than moans, so he held Seungyoon’s waist and flipped them over so he could thrust into him better. Seungyoon came before long, Jiho’s name filthily cried out of his mouth and it sort of tipped him towards the edge. Jiho pulled out, rolling the condom off of his cock and jerked himself.

He came on Seungyoon’s belly. The said belly had pool of cum and Jiho didn’t know which was his and which was Seungyoon’s—gross, the everyday Woo Jiho thought, but the whipped Woo Jiho thought otherwise. As he looked up, Seungyoon was staring up at him, expression unreadable, but then he smiled.

Jiho decided that this Seungyoon couldn’t be compared to any version of Seungyoon in his dreams and imaginations, ever.

 

* * *

 

Jiho dreamed of Seungyoon getting out of his bed and picking up his clothes. He looked at Jiho for a few moment, tucking the older’s body into the blanket carefully before he went out of the room. In that dream Jiho had sleepily asked him to come back soon.

He didn’t.  

 

* * *

 

Some time in the afternoon, Jiho woke up feeling sticky from sweats and kicked the blanket off of his body before he rolled to the other side of the bed, feeling only a little relieved from the cool part of the sheet. Only a few moment later did he stare up at the ceiling and laughed.

He was alone.

 

Seungyoon called him in the evening, apologized for leaving early because his mother called for something urgent, Jiho said okay. He didn’t ask about the sex, nor did Seungyoon talk about it. They didn’t talk about it either the next time they hang out, never spoke of it even in texts or phone calls. They never talked about it and maybe that’s the only way to go about with it.

Jiho most likely would be okay if they never talked about it and just let go, really. The thing was, it happened again and again, and somehow they just jumped into that complicated relationship Jiho had always avoided. With Seungyoon, though, he couldn’t stop.

They fell into that routine—of being Jiho-and-Seungyoon, the best of friends in the open, stealing kisses when they were left alone for a few seconds, hands finding each other’s bodies if longer, and collided together in closed rooms.

They would sit on the roof whenever Jiho visited Seungyoon’s place, Jiho would point at random people or vehicles passing by and they would make random narratives and laughed. Sometimes they just sat on the floor in Seungyoon’s room listening to music and talked, other times they didn’t talk at all as Jiho tried to cover Seungyoon’s mouth while he fucked him into the mattress.

 

Seungyoon graduated and Jiho had gotten himself a new job. Unlike Jiho, Seungyoon’s career life was a little smoother, but that was to be expected, and Jiho felt somewhat proud. A little sad too, since they both became busier and rarely got the time to meet each other as often. Jiho used to feel fidgety when he couldn’t meet Seungyoon for a week, now he had to make himself as busy as he could for an entire month at least if he wanted to breathe without missing Seungyoon. He had to be patient, knowing how properly settling down with your job wasn’t the easiest thing to do.

 

“Hyung, you know what? Minho is my senior in the company.”

One afternoon, Seungyoon texted him, saying he was in a restaurant near his workplace if Jiho wanted to come by and have lunch together. He moved so fast it would embarrass Lightning McQueen, proceed to bump into someone and bowed five times to apologize. He tried not to look to excited, though, since Seungyoon said he was with someone from work.

Jiho didn’t care who that person was until he stepped into the restaurant and saw Minho sitting across Seungyoon. He had a radar and that radar was telling him: this is bad news.

“That’s cool, I didn’t know you were applying there,” Jiho said, quickly gazing down to the menu book so that Seungyoon or Minho wouldn’t see the insincerity in his eyes. Eyes are too expressive as he once told Kyung, and he hated their honesty at times.

“I didn’t even know Minho works there,” Seungyoon paused to call the waiter, “So it’s kinda like, fate thing.”

Both Jiho and Minho shot their heads to look at Seungyoon; Jiho with terrorized wide eyes and Minho with amused wide eyes. Seungyoon looked at them both and cringed once he realized what he had just say, but the waiter came before he could say anything else. Minho was smiling all the time through lunch.

 

* * *

 

And so, time went by. Jiho and Seungyoon were still Jiho and Seungyoon, only, probably not the best of friends as they used to be. The occasional random texts were reducing gradually from everyday to every weekend to every other day to once a month if Jiho was lucky or when he missed Seungyoon too much, no phone calls anymore, no obligatory monthly visit except when Seungyoon’s mother cooked too much food and like a good mother he was to every friend of his son’s, insisted that Jiho should have some.

It was a day before Christmas Eve when Seungyoon called him to invite him to his house because Seungyoon would be having a lot of food, since, well, it’s Christmas and Jiho said yes in a heartbeat.

(Jiho sort of had to stare at his phone in disbelief until the ringtone stopped and went off again before he realized it really was happening, though.)

“What are you doing?” he asked after a loud noise came from the other line and Seungyoon huffed.

“Decorating the tree.”

Jiho scoffed at the thought, he would scream _that’s so cute_ if he could, but Woo Jiho had learned the art of restraining one’s self from doing stupid thing.

“I’m alone, so no one helps.”

“Oh.”

Fifty minutes of drive later, Jiho was in Seungyoon’s house, helping him to decorate a Christmas tree. It’s a little strange because he’d never done something like this again since high school and made a public claim (family members are considered public as long as it’s not just himself) that he hates decorating Christmas tree, but he guessed life is just that funny.

“You really didn’t have to come, though,” Seungyoon mumbled as he hang a small fake present on the tree. Jiho shrugged.

“I have a few days off and I was bored at home.”

He had to finish something due tonight, but it was an unimportant detail.

Seungyoon hummed noncommittally, turning to him and stretched out a hand with his palm open. Jiho stared at his hand for a few second and internally panicked—what? What was he supposed to do? What’s happening?

When Jiho looked up at Seungyoon, he felt time stopped. He could be just being dramatic because he hadn’t seen Seungyoon in forever, but over time, Seungyoon got even more attractive than before. Jiho sort of wanted to cry—and he never admitted this the whole time he realized it, never wanted to admit it to himself because once he thought of it, it’d become real, but… It had always been real all the time, right?

Jiho wasn’t an oblivious dumbass. He was in love with Seungyoon, not sure since when, maybe always had been.

There, he admitted it.

Jiho placed his hand on top of Seungyoon’s and Seungyoon blinked in visible confusion. “The star, hyung. Give me the star.”

“Oh, right, of course.”

Jiho retrieved his hand, handing Seungyoon the star and wished the earth would open up and swallow him whole.

 

* * *

 

He wasn’t special, Jiho found out as he stepped into Seungyoon’s house and saw Minho sitting prettily at the table. He grinned widely at Jiho, looking genuinely happy that Jiho felt guilty for avoiding him for so long just because he was a petty jealous.

After the meal, they were all cramped in Seungyoon’s room, playing some music in low volume and talked and drink, just catching up with each other that Jiho momentarily forgot that Minho (whether he like it or not) was his competitor, in a way.

Another thing that Jiho also forgot was that Minho knew about his painful crush for the person he met at a junior’s party one random night and that Minho had no absolute idea that the person he met at a junior’s party was Seungyoon. So, when Minho brought it up, he didn’t know how to stop him.

“Hyung, how was your crush?”

“What?”

Seungyoon looked at him, eyebrows raised, and he looked at Seungyoon too before turning back to Minho. “Who?”

“You know, that guy… or girl, whatever,” Minho chuckled and he looked up at Seungyoon who was settled on his bed, “Oh, Seungyoon, did you know? Jiho hyung had this absolute heart boner to this unknown person he met at a party.”

Jiho’s brain was slower than Minho’s mouth, so when he began to remember, Minho had spilled everything he knew from Jiho. On the good side, he’d never told Minho anything ever since Seungyoon and Minho met at his place, so he didn’t know any other detail.

“Oh,” Seungyoon said and Jiho dared himself to look up. He should have not, he hated every guilt he saw in Seungyoon’s eyes, he hated how honest they were.

The other thing that Jiho couldn't yet decide to be good or bad, though, Seungyoon did know.

 

* * *

 

Two years later.

Jiho woke up to a call from Seungyoon asking him—or demanding, actually—to get ready in five minutes. Jiho managed in four, but Seungyoon only came two minutes later than promised so Jiho whined a little in the car.

“This one? If it’s no good then I’ll go with the one before.”

Jiho looked up from his phone and his jaw fell open rather dramatically, thumb ghosting over his phone as he eyed Seungyoon from head to toe. Jiho never asked what Seungyoon’s hobby was, but by now he was pretty sure it’s trying to outshine the sun.

“Okay, I’ll go with this.”

“I haven’t said anything—”

“Your reaction said enough.”

Jiho sighed.

 

* * *

 

 

_02.00 AM_

_Yoon._

_02.01 AM_

_Yes?_

_02.01 AM_

_Are you real?_

_02.10 AM_

_As I can be._

_02.14 AM_

_Okay._

_02.35 AM_

_Okay…_

* * *

 

Jiho took a deep breath as he scanned the room, it was crowded and there were familiar faces that he’d spotted earlier. He focused on Seungyoon once he stood on the altar, though, and Seungyoon glanced at him. Jiho smiled and Seungyoon responded with a nod.

When it was time to say the vow, Jiho saw Seungyoon taking a (really) deep breath and snickered. He'd never seen Seungyoon this nervous—

“I, Kang Seungyoon, take you, Song Minho, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

—oh wait, he had, twice; on Seungyoon's graduation day and when Seungyoon asked Minho to marry him on his birthday.

"I pronounce you both husbands."

Their wedding was beautiful and Jiho cried.


End file.
